Court: Theater of Life

How to describe the feeling when chamber doors opened and Brian David Mitchell walked in in handcuffs, singing religious hymns. First, just the sight of him made my skin crawl. He is little, squirrly,greasy, vacant. He's got the Manson vibe, with longer hair. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The courtroom was silent except for his haunting tunes. I kept wondering how is he allowed to do this? But then again, this is the same person who allegedly broke into Elizabeth Smart's bedroom, stole her and then kept her for nine months, assaulting and abusing her. When the judge finally said that Mitchell needed to leave and watch proceedings on closed-circuit television from another room I was able to breathe easy. Or at least easier.

I just read in the local paper that the lead prosecutor spent time in Bosnia-Herzegovina assisting with criminal prosecutions, and also assisted in the prosecution of Saddam Hussein. His team of lawyers seems whip smart, eager and ready for the case. The defense team, in my humble opinion, seems flustered, bumbling, desperate. Much to my surprise, the two sides seem friendly and often talk with each other at the breaks. I guess I don't know enough about how these things work. I found the judge, who looks a bit like Alfred Hitchcock, to be personable, funny and very, very smart. There are a lot of personalities in that room, even more when you add the perspective jurors.

The court interviewed seventeen jurors today, retaining nine of them. Apparently they need thirty before they can choose the final twelve plus alternates. It might end up being jury selection all week, and if that's the case, I might need to come back at a later date to see some of the testimony. Who knows how it will all shake out. I suppose there's a chance that it could start Thursday or Friday.

I feel funny writing about this while it is just happening, so I think I might lay off the blogging until the end of the case. Also, it's a lot to digest, and I think I may need to take it all in first.

On an entirely different note, I am thoroughly enjoying my hotel's happy hour, replete with generous portions of wine, free massages and very interesting people.

Utah is beautiful and there is already snow on some of the mountains.

This is definitely a surreal trip, but I've already gained so much knowledge.

Tomorrow is election day. Good luck to us all!

Fall into Esalen, October, 2010

How do I even begin to explain my most recent Californian adventure? It started in San Luis Obispo, a quintessential California town. I booked a hotel to break up the long trip to Big Sur, checked in at around 5pm and set out to find something to eat. And boy did I find good eats. I found a farmer's market that seemed to stretch the length of the town. I think I stopped counting after 10 blocks. The entire population of SLO came out for this market, including Cal Poly students, families, and even this furry guy.

I arrived at Esalen the next day and checked into the big house - not jail - the big house overlooking the ocean - and attended the teacher's reception, and that's where the fun began. While I noshed on cheese and crackers, the program director kept pouring me white wine. The other workshop leaders attended and were so interesting and charming that I wanted to cancel my class and go as a student to theirs. I was feeling good, feeling confident. It was hitting me hard that I was teaching at the esteemed Esalen Institute. Hey, pass the wine! Yeah, I'm on top of the world. Wait. Who's that who just walked in? I know that face. I know that hair. I was wondering earlier why they were selling Eat, Pray, Love in the bookstore. There she was - Elizabeth Gilbert - toast of the town - sitting at a nearby table. I always show her TED talk to my creative writing students. It is so thoughtful and engaging. I had planned on showing it to the Esalen group. I leaned over to the program director and whispered, "Is that Elizabeth Gilbert?" to which she nodded yes. I asked because I have a cute little habit of thinking I recognize people and being completely wrong. But this time I was right. I was working on glass #4 of the wine which is the only reason I stood up and approached her. Maybe I gushed, I don't remember. I stammered something about showing her TED talk to Otis students. She smiled, and repeated my name when thanking me for approaching her. Or maybe that didn't happen. I don't know. I was toasted.

The rest of the weekend revolved around lots of writing, food and old fashioned hot tub nakedness. Oh, and one night during dinner the Brazillian Dance and Drumming Workshop performed for us, lead by the pregnant leader.

Who is the inner critic? We spent hours trying to figure it out. Probably our parents, and their parents and so on and so on - just embedded throughout the centuries. We wrote to overcome it. We wrote and wrote and wrote. The workshop participants were incredibly talented and funny, all with such different voices and points of view.

It was drizzly and misty, perfect hot tub weather. I had a massage, too. At one point my right leg was over my left ear. Things like that happen at Esalen.

In the workshop we wrote down ideas and put them in a bowl. The participants picked blindly from the pile and had to write on a subject someone else had suggested. Later, I asked them to pick another subject and write it from the point-of-view of the inner critic. I joined in on this exercise. Someone suggested writing about the red sculpture of a woman in the gardens. Here is the sculpture:

And here is what my inner critic had to say about it:

The red sculpture? How am I supposed to distinguish that one from all the other red sculptures around this place? I don’t suppose you expect that sculpture to inspire anything. It’s just some piece of tin, carved out to look like a woman. It sits there in the garden as though it’s some sort of beacon of hope – yeah right! How’s it any different from the purple sculpture on top of this art barn? Or, say, an airplane? Or a soup can? Art is a waste of time. It’s making nothing out of nothing. There’s no something about it. Schools keep cutting their art programs but so what? Who cares about glue and pencils and glitter? When push comes to shove, it’s math and science that really matters. The facts. The numbers. Numbers make the world go round. The almighty dollar – now there’s a number I can sink my teeth into – and speaking of… excuse me, but why aren’t you making more of those dollars. Don’t you know anything about worth? Now there’s some art – a green and white bill with a President slapped down in the middle of it. And it’s perfect because it’s not big and clunky and sitting in a garden. It folds up neatly into your pocket.

Long Time No Blog

In preparation for my workshop at Esalen next weekend I have been reading up on the inner critic. One of my favorite bits of advice comes from this book, which suggests you treat your inner critic, that pesky hypercritical voice, like it's coming from a carney barker - y'know, the guy in the cheap suit at the carnival trying to convince you to enter the tent where the bearded woman resides. You'd probably find it easy to ignore this character and walk on by (perhaps in search of deep fried Twinkies). The author also suggests you visualize your critic as a telemarketer or clown. You get the point. Such a fun way of looking at it.

Two weeks after Esalen I am heading to Utah to attend the beginnings of the Elizabeth Smart trial. I will be sure to blog about it from there. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm actually going. It's all for research on my new book.

And finally, since I have nothing more to write about, here is a list of movies I've seen in the past few weeks:

Stone - Went to a screening with my friend Liz. It has all the ingredients of a great movie as it stars Robert DeNiro and Ed Norton, but the plot is contrived and the character that Ed Norton plays is so grating that, although it got high ratings on imdb, I think it's worth skipping.

The Social Network- It was great fun seeing this on opening weekend. Such a great story that had me thinking long after the movie ended.

Me Without You - Rented this from my school's video library. Is it me, or is Michelle Williams the most underrated actress of our time? I liked this movie, which was released in 2001. It's a character study of two friends through the ages.

Conviction - Thanks to Liz I attended this screening, too, and had the privilege of attending a Q and A with almost the entire cast afterwards. Hilary Swank does an excellent job of portraying a woman who sacrifices her life to prove her big brother's innocence. It is based on a true story and definitely worth seeing, in my humble opinion.

A Fair to Remember

I hit the carni the other day - the L.A. County Fair. I really didn't expect to have as much fun as I did. From the second you enter the fairgrounds you are assaulted by color:

The booths, the prizes, the people...everything and everyone was awash in pinks and yellows and blues.

Jen posed as a pirate...

Dad popped balloons with darts...

P. rolled around in a hermetically sealed bubble over water...

I took pictures of creepy Hansel and Gretel life-sized cutouts.

But the real coup de grace came when I discovered these little colorful beads... which, when submerged in water for four hours, become...

...marble-sized gooey things which act as soil for plants and flowers.

Just one of the many wonders of the L.A. County Fair!

Out of My Head

Just back from a wonderful but brief trip to the Oaks Spa in Ojai. I've been coming here with my mom since I was around fifteen (at that age I couldn't stand the place - the early morning classes, the fat-free food. I once snuck out to buy myself a burrito across the street. My how times have changed!) It is a little over an hour outside of L.A. so it's an easy escape and twice a year they have a mother/daughter special, so it's affordable. If you can't bring your mother, you can bring a friend and still get the discount as I did a few years ago. They offer fabulous exercise classes from morning to night, wildly interesting seminars, a host of treatments and of course delicious, fat-free meals. But the best part of being at the Oaks, I think, is getting out of my head. Samba class, followed by water aerobics and Cardio Funk is such a nice break from long and sedentary days spent in front of the computer. Who has time to think about plot points and grammar issues when you're trying to keep your feet coordinated in step aerobics?

(blurry self-portrait after day of working out)

(Spanish architecture in town.)

(Adorable Ojai library across from the Oaks.)

Some Summer Eats

I spent a lot of time in restaurants this summer - not only eating, but taking pictures of food. For my dad's birthday in July we went to The Bazaar, an amaaazing restaurant at the SLS Hotel in Los Angeles. Pictured here: the oxygen infused olives (truly an explosive party in your mouth)

...and here are the watermelon/tomato skewers...

For dessert, they usher you into another part of the restaurant and you choose from the myriad of options at the endless candy bar. Willy Wonka would be proud.

And speaking of desserts, for my birthday the other night I went with my parents to The Tasting Kitchen and ordered up this magical sticky toffee concoction for dessert...

It was absolute perfection because it wasn't too sweet, and paired with the Cinnamon gelato? Beyond! (as my friend Daniela likes to say). In fact, the entire meal was beyond.

But the best of the best came on Saturday night when my sister showed up at my place toting this magical cake:

...which she baked, colored, frosted and decorated (with bougainvillea from her garden). When you cut into it you found a rainbow surprise.

Gosh, I have NO IDEA why I've gained 10 pounds. None.